I have put this blog off for 5 days now. I don’t want to write it because it brings back so many painful memories, but I know this is exactly what I should share. As a precursor, it is lengthy.
January 21, 2007, we were blessed to find out we were pregnant with #4. We were so excited, scared, nervous, all the emotions that go along with having another child. We knew though that God was in control and this was His will.
Just 2 short weeks after the joy of being pregnant overwhelmed me, I started having problems. I had started bleeding and the doctor confirmed that it was an impending miscarriage. We were devastated. Heartbroken doesn’t even begin to describe how we felt. We knew though, that even in this God had a plan. We didn’t and still don’t understand it, but it isn’t for us to know.
We were in the healing process of losing a child, healing some areas in our marriage, and healing our spiritual lives. I had truly grown closer to Chad and to God. I was now staying at home, not working, and loved every minute of it.
Sunday, February 18, 2007, I was scheduled to sing with a trio that morning. The song chosen was, “Gentle Healer”. How appropriate to sing at church following the heartbreaking event of losing a child. We also sang, “He Knows My Name”, another song that is very emotional even to this day. We had chosen the name Josiah for our child if it were a boy, the literal translation of his name is, “Healer”. (Do you see God in this anywhere?) The guest speaker that spoke that morning talked about why some Christians are afraid of death. This is an issue that I have dealt with for a long time. I wasn’t scared to meet Jesus; I was scared of how my family would make it without me.
Monday, February 19, 2007 6:00 am, Cana woke me up because she wasn’t feeling well. I got up with her and got her back in bed and laid down to get a few more minutes of sleep. As I lay down, Chad woke from a sound sleep and asked me if I was feeling alright. Confused by the question, I said, yes, why? He had no explanation, he just felt like he needed to ask. As I laid my head down my chest began to ache a little. Thinking it may be some gas build-up, I decided to go to the bathroom. As I was walking toward the bathroom, I felt really weird. When I got to the toilet, I yelled for Chad and he came running. A pain unlike any other I had ever felt now filled my entire abdomen through my chest. As he knelt down beside me I told him I felt like I couldn’t breathe, felt like I was going to pass out, and was scared. Immediately, I passed out. Chad laid me on the floor and called 911. (From the time he asked me if I felt ok to this point, it was only about 3 minutes.) I began throwing up and he couldn’t really get me to come to. I told Chad, if I die; please take care of my babies. I was at peace with dying that day, I was certain I was going home to be with the Lord. Chad prayed and claimed in Jesus name my healing. I was propped up against the bathtub as the ambulance arrived. They were unable to get my blood pressure because they couldn’t hear it. I was loaded in the ambulance on my way to Missouri Delta Medical Center in Sikeston. In the ambulance, I tried to tell them to take me to Cape not Sikeston, but I was unable to speak.
I arrived at the hospital and was rushed in. Chad kept telling everyone I had just had a miscarriage, but I was sure it didn’t have anything to do with what was happening. I was so weak I was unable to open my eyes. My blood pressure was around 50/30 and I was going downhill fast. Still, they didn’t know what was happening. I went to have x-rays and they showed nothing. While there though, I passed out again and began convulsing. I was then moved to a different room to have a pelvic exam done. Again I passed out and the doctor determined that my uterus was clear. Then I was sent to ultrasound, there the tech found something he thought was a ruptured cyst. A lot of fluid was in my abdomen. Chad began to tell them that my ob doc was in Cape and he would like for me to be transferred there. The hospital tried to contact him and found out that he was on vacation for the next two weeks. The doctor told Chad there was no time to transfer me; he needed me to have emergency surgery and gave Chad two options for doctors. He chose one and within 10 minutes she was there and I was being wheeled to the operating room. Scared because I didn’t really know what was going on, but I knew God was totally in control. When I came out of surgery, we were told that I had a ruptured tubal pregnancy and I was bleeding profusely into my belly, almost 2 liters. My right tube and ovary had to be removed. As the surgery began, I only had about 10 minutes left to live. Reading over my story, the hand of God is seen all throughout. I realized after my surgery, that God wasn’t finished with me. He still has a plan and a purpose for my life.
As tragic as this story is, there is good that has come from it. I have had the amazing opportunity to be in the hospital w/parents as their 10 day old baby lay dying and be a silent source of comfort for them. I never want to get tired of sharing our story with others. In the 3 years since losing the baby, we have been blessed with Jon Luke!
Even when things are grim and the light of day is nowhere to be found, God is still on the throne. Embrace Him today and allow Him to comfort you!
Chad Bles
Jennifer Bles
Hay Jen, I remember three years ago this morning. Instead of calling the ER and telling my friend what I needed to tell her, God had me walk thru the door. I never saw my friend. As I was walking thru, there was the real reason that God sent me to the ER. YOU were being brought back from X ray, the look on your face stopped this old ICU nurse in her tracks, I don’t get scared very often. I remember essentially watching you “shut down” in front of my eyes. I was there when you blood pressure dropped and you started seizing. I had you standing you your head and had iv fluids going wide open trying to get a blood pressure. I was so thankful the God sent Dr Nickel-Waller and she recognized your problem and was willing to act with speed and accuracy. I watched the love in your eyes for Chad and his love for you as you both struggled to stay strong for each other. I remember a private joke about Superman. I watched your family as they arrived and saw the love for each other and the concern for you, I saw them leaning on the Lord in a time of great stress
I love seeing the love stories that you and Chad “write to each other on line” especially as I saw your struggles after losing your baby and almost losing your life. You and Chad are a testimony to riding out the hard times because the best is yet to come. You are both very special to me. Thank you for allowing me to care so much for you.